I know I have been somewhat MIA the last couple weeks, but here is a quick rundown of my current situation and how things have been faring.
It looks like some (if not all) of the GI problems I have been having since trying Seroquel (all of which are still present even after almost six months of stopping it) are potentially due to a hormonal problem triggered by the drug. After having an endoscopy (having a camera put down my throat to inspect my stomach) and a colonoscopy (same thing, only in reverse… and with significantly less dignity) the result was that the doctors could find no reasonable cause for the intense amount of pain and other odd symptoms I have been having.
After everyone scratched their heads for a while I did some of my own detective work and I went to see a gynecologist. She recommended hormones. I started taking them two weeks ago… and the result was pretty much exactly what I expected – the same sort of response I have had to pretty much every drug (even the flu shot) the last couple years.
A bad reaction.
You see, not only do I experience a treatment resistant, very sensitive, easily triggered version of bipolar disorder (type 1), most medications I have tried (even something as simple as a nasal spray) have triggered big problems for me either by making my emotional state completely deteriorate and triggering a big bipolar episode, or by triggering significant side effects (which generally just go on to trigger more bipolar episodes).
So on day 5 of hormone treatment when I began crying uncontrollably for an entire day I pretty much knew it was the end of that road, but I kept taking the drugs for two more days (just to be sure it wasn’t my own rapid cycling). Nope, by day seven I had become completely engulfed in suicidality and promptly called the gynecologist’s office to inform them and stop taking the new hormones.
Stopping the hormones suddenly was also a problem. Within two days I was no longer in the throes of depression, but instead I became manic and couldn’t sleep for three days.
I had another appointment with the gynecologist yesterday to try and figure out what to do next. She recommended another form of hormonal therapy (with significantly fewer hormones) which I started last night. Personally, I don’t expect this to end up any different than the last round, but I am willing to give this treatment option a shot because my only other option is surgery… which, frankly, scares the bajeezus out of me a little bit.
Like my continuously evolving trial of medications to potentially treat my bipolar symptoms, after hearing about my experiences the doctor concluded that I am very brave for being willing to try hormones again. It is my belief, however, that bravery and desperation can often look a lot alike from the outside looking in…
At any rate, that would be what I have currently been up to. I am sure the mania was also partially fueled by the fact that it has been summer-time weather (sunshine in the 60’s) in Seattle last week, the total opposite of what normally goes down here in January. It seems weather like this could make for an entirely different kind of winter than I am normally used to (30+ days of rain in a row potentially ending in a depressive hospitalization). Mania has its pitfalls, but honestly there are times (like the winter) where it just feels nice to have a little variety.
I expect I will know pretty soon if I will be able to tolerate this new drug, ironically enough it has the potential to alleviate my lactose-intolerance that started when taking Seroquel, however the pills themselves contain lactose so taking it so far has not been a fun ride. Really, just the fact that I have found a doctor who has found evidence of a diagnosable problem after six months of doctors being unable to give me any kind of answers has been encouraging, even if the treatment options do turn out to be somewhat torturous.
In my life, a little hope can go a long way.