Daily Archives: March 14, 2014

Feeling Ill to Feel Better

The last few days I’ve had the stomach flu. Not exactly a fun time, but as I sprawled out on the couch for hours at a time watching DS9 I realized that I felt remarkably upbeat (for someone who felt like crud).

Normally I have trouble with illnesses like the flu triggering bipolar symptoms, so the fact that this particular flu seemed to be alleviating the intense depression I’ve been feeling for over a month was baffling.

This flu was really in the vein that if I sat still (or was laying down) for any lengthy period of time, I actually felt quite good. Relaxed, tired, and in a little bit of a haze. It wasn’t until I tried to get up and do anything that I was struck with intense dizziness, nausea, and the contents of my stomach trying to escape my body.

By yesterday I had the drill down. I curled up on the couch for hours, and though I was a little sad about the sunshine outside (that I couldn’t manage to take advantage of) my mind felt surprisingly… upbeat.

One day of feeling alright for three quarters of the day shouldn’t be a big deal, but after the last two weeks were constantly kicking me while I was down and the month before that of suicidal ideation, yesterday felt like a miracle.

If being ill acted as a distraction for just long enough to make me feel better mentally and that was what it took to give me one day of relief, then by all means bring on the stomach flu more often.

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