Hypomania, A Closer Look

Thanks to increasing the Geodon I’m taking I have spent the last several days hypomanic (which has been a pleasant change).

This round, hypomania has meant several different things, and several different changes in energy level and alertness. I wanted to take a minute to outline the symptoms I’m having to share a little bit about what hypomania often means for me.

I’m still able to sleep, but I’m waking up much earlier than usual. My mind, upon waking, feels alert and sharp, even if my body doesn’t feel that way yet. On occasion I’ll wake up feeling alert but also energetic, where something akin to a dull hum seems to be happening just under my skin.

Because of the alertness and the extra energy I find myself unable to relax. A sense of urgency is present, and it makes me feel like there is something I should be doing every second of the day.

When I fall into a place where I am working on a task, the work is easy and seems to take no time at all. I’m able to focus on all manner of detail in a way that feels fulfilling and carefree.

At times I feel a physical and mental high (euphoria) that leaves me unable to stop smiling and able to do nothing more than roll around on the floor looking at the dog and feeling more than content. The euphoria is fleeting, however, and is very sporadic. When not present I feel a contented alertness that is also pleasant.

Things feel easy. Being alone all day feels easy. Talking to others or on the phone (something which I generally have trouble with) feels easy.

This round of hypomania has felt very casual. Despite the sense of urgency I’m having, I don’t feel like I’m in a rush to get things done, I’m just eager to complete or to work on tasks.

I used to feel hypomania all the time. For long stretches. Months, even. Part of me misses the ability to focus in such a carefree way, because these days I only seem to experience hypomania when increasing Geodon.

So far this round I also haven’t noticed any blips of mania (I did two increases ago though) so as casual as I’m feeling, I am still on the lookout for excessive racing thoughts, feeling detached from my body, extreme euphoria, or breaks from reality.

Other than that, it seems time for an overly-productive day!

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One response to “Hypomania, A Closer Look

  1. I believe I’m in a fun mixed state. It’s a little different to what you describe as “crazy girlfriend.” I’m very irritable but not homicidal. However, I am having streams of suicidal ideation (there’s no chance of actual suicide, so no worries). I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. It’s almost intolerable. It’s especially difficult to deal with other people, even my own husband who himself is bipolar (though more in the classic sense with isolated and intense mood periods). My states are a hobbled mess.

    Right now, I’m biding my time waiting to go to my doctor tomorrow to see if she has any ideas. Everything I try except alcohol and Klonopin seems to make it worse. I don’t want to go to the hospital and end up with a $20,000 hospital bill. That would not pair well with the 60,000 I already owe Sallie Mae. Even freaking deep breathing seems to make it worse. Normally hypomania is tolerable, even a little bit fun. This sucks.

    Please forgive my rant. I needed to vent to (at?) someone who understands.

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