Two weeks ago I received the response to my appeal (after my first social security application denial) and it was a negative one.
Once again, I wasn’t surprised because I have been expecting a second denial. The only trouble is that when it happens, it feels very much like a slap in the face (expected or otherwise).
The reason they gave for my denial is that my symptoms are not severe enough warrant being unable to work.
I admit, anger pulsed through me when I read those words, and I thought back to my last job where I became delusional and disrupted an entire office when I thought my boss was trying to sabotage me.
I thought about the job I had before that that I quit to keep myself from backsliding into hospitalization-worthy depression.
And the job before that that fired me for being hospitalized when I found myself in the midst of a close-call situation where I had been psychotic and violent toward a defenseless animal.
While I’m not proud to admit these things, they are the facts. Beyond that, they are merely the tip of an iceberg of rocky attempts to work spanning 8 years.
I needed a week before I could do anything about the letter, and at the end of last week I filled out the paperwork for my request for a hearing (the next step) and slipped it off to my attorney.
As previously, I remain optimistic. I definitely struggle with the denials I have received so far, especially not to take them personally. I know there is only so much information the social security offices are willing to consider, so I hope that my attorney holds up his end of the bargain and helps me convey the truth.