Daily Archives: May 29, 2013

Mixed Bag

I’m beginning to see a pattern in the time where I come back from being out in the “wilderness” (camping) and are thrust back into the stressful, humming electronic world that is normalcy.¬†

It is no wonder that I jump from a state of deep relaxation to one of being particularly on edge, lately showing this edginess with mixed states.

Yesterday’s mixed state (hyperfocus, energy, sluggishness, overwhelmed feelings, anxiety, negative thoughts, and a splash of absentminded detachment) wasn’t the be-all end-all of mixed states, but it certainly wasn’t clearly mania or depression. Maybe the conflicting feelings come from my conflicting thoughts about being home?

Living in a situation where one is trying to meet their basic needs (eating, staying warm, sleeping, amusing oneself) the way one might while camping is something I can generally excel at. It doesn’t eradicate my mood swings, but the lack of external stressors leave me in a much better place a much larger percent of the time.

Living in society though, where there are cell phones and computers and face book and thousands of people all around living in tiny apartments without speaking to one another watching¬†so you think you can dance… well, for some reason this really doesn’t give me much of an advantage. Say what you will, but I tend to be much happier when all of the distractions have gone.

In any case, I’m walking off my bruises and the mixed situation of yesterday seems to be gone this morning, leaving only a sluggish brain fog and a wildly rumbly tummy.

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