The Fringe of Psychosis

Since last week’s short bout of psychosis I’ve been on edge.

I’ve been thinking about the last time this was an issue (in October when I thought my boss was trying to sabotage me at work) and wondering, quite nervously, if this was a one time blip or the fringe of something bigger.

Should I avoid the things that triggered it last time? Or is there a way to talk to the people involved to dissolve the overwhelmingly persistent delusions I am having? What’s worse is that I called out sick at my last therapy appointment (as I was psychotic) and I haven’t heard from my therapist since. I’ve called twice now with no answer, which only tends to add fuel to the already paranoid flames.

I feel like psychosis is one of those things that once you’ve experienced it, you can almost go crazy with the fear that surrounds it happening again. Should I lock myself indoors? Should I stay away from people?

How can I know if I am safe?

The most helpful thing I’ve found when it comes to psychosis is making a plan while it isn’t an issue. If you make a plan while stable (or stable-ish) to do whatever “x” when experiencing psychosis (whether that is call your doctor or therapist, take an emergency medication, or even force yourself into a state of hibernation) it takes a lot of the fear out of it. 

Even so, I have to admit I am scared. When life is already unpredictable, living with the possibility of psychosis can make things seem out of control. All I can do is watch for warning signs and follow through with my “plan” if it does come up.


2 responses to “The Fringe of Psychosis

  1. If I see myself spiraling toward psychosis, I often up my dosage of anti-psychotics. All the things you mentioned are good, and I think it is very smart to have a plan.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing what you are experiencing. You are brave.

    A plan is definitely a good idea, and you already know when to write it, which is while you’re stable. I use a plan, too. It’s quite detailed, and I’ve shared it with a few trusted friends and family members. They help me when I’m down.

    Best of luck to you.

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