Since last week’s short bout of psychosis I’ve been on edge.
I’ve been thinking about the last time this was an issue (in October when I thought my boss was trying to sabotage me at work) and wondering, quite nervously, if this was a one time blip or the fringe of something bigger.
Should I avoid the things that triggered it last time? Or is there a way to talk to the people involved to dissolve the overwhelmingly persistent delusions I am having? What’s worse is that I called out sick at my last therapy appointment (as I was psychotic) and I haven’t heard from my therapist since. I’ve called twice now with no answer, which only tends to add fuel to the already paranoid flames.
I feel like psychosis is one of those things that once you’ve experienced it, you can almost go crazy with the fear that surrounds it happening again. Should I lock myself indoors? Should I stay away from people?
How can I know if I am safe?
The most helpful thing I’ve found when it comes to psychosis is making a plan while it isn’t an issue. If you make a plan while stable (or stable-ish) to do whatever “x” when experiencing psychosis (whether that is call your doctor or therapist, take an emergency medication, or even force yourself into a state of hibernation) it takes a lot of the fear out of it.
Even so, I have to admit I am scared. When life is already unpredictable, living with the possibility of psychosis can make things seem out of control. All I can do is watch for warning signs and follow through with my “plan” if it does come up.