Lately my mood has been curving up to a relatively normal place, which always reminds me of how tricky bipolar disorder can be.
It isn’t unusual in times of stability for the notion of bipolar disorder to fade into the background; to the extent that one might question its validity in the first place.
I feel fine now, one might think, so I am fine, right?
No memories of past struggles or episodes linger, only an optimistic sense that feeling so normal means everything previous must have been some kind of horrible dream.
I know a lot of people who are effected by this, and it seems the same sort of thing can happen to people with severe depression, once they are out of it. It is a huge problem really, keeping many people from seeking help for symptoms (which may no longer be present at the moment, but are still waiting right below the surface for a moment of weakness to reappear) that are serious.
Not only does this keep people from seeking help in the first place, it can also cause people to start neglecting their current support systems, whether that is medication, therapy, supportive friends, doctors, or holistic practices. Why keep up with it all when you’ve been miraculously cured, right?
This may all sound a little bizarre, but in my experience bipolar disorder is something that tricks the mind into believing things that aren’t true. Negative things, positive things, emotions, and even for some, things like hallucinations trick senses like our ability to see or our sense of smell. I don’t consider it a coincidence to conveniently forget about all of this when I begin to feel the tiniest bit better.
I don’t consider myself to be a gullible person generally, but I guess I could be wrong!
I guess my point with all this is to remind you that if untreated, bipolar symptoms will often sleep, and then come back with a vengeance. The unfortunate thing is that even when treated, the story can be the same. When you find yourself working against yourself in a manic or depressed episode, it is expected, so don’t fall victim to working against yourself in a state of stability.
Don’t forget about the work you’ve done this far. Don’t forget about the struggles you’ve triumphed over. Take pride in feeling well, but don’t forget what you’ve worked through to get there.