Forget Me Not

Lately my mood has been curving up to a relatively normal place, which always reminds me of how tricky bipolar disorder can be.

It isn’t unusual in times of stability for the notion of bipolar disorder to fade into the background; to the extent that one might question its validity in the first place.

I feel fine now, one might think, so I am fine, right? 

No memories of past struggles or episodes linger, only an optimistic sense that feeling so normal means everything previous must have been some kind of horrible dream.

I know a lot of people who are effected by this, and it seems the same sort of thing can happen to people with severe depression, once they are out of it. It is a huge problem really, keeping many people from seeking help for symptoms (which may no longer be present at the moment, but are still waiting right below the surface for a moment of weakness to reappear) that are serious.

Not only does this keep people from seeking help in the first place, it can also cause people to start neglecting their current support systems, whether that is medication, therapy, supportive friends, doctors, or holistic practices. Why keep up with it all when you’ve been miraculously cured, right?

This may all sound a little bizarre, but in my experience bipolar disorder is something that tricks the mind into believing things that aren’t true. Negative things, positive things, emotions, and even for some, things like hallucinations trick senses like our ability to see or our sense of smell. I don’t consider it a coincidence to conveniently forget about all of this when I begin to feel the tiniest bit better.

I don’t consider myself to be a gullible person generally, but I guess I could be wrong!

I guess my point with all this is to remind you that if untreated, bipolar symptoms will often sleep, and then come back with a vengeance. The unfortunate thing is that even when treated, the story can be the same. When you find yourself working against yourself in a manic or depressed episode, it is expected, so don’t fall victim to working against yourself in a state of stability.

Don’t forget about the work you’ve done this far. Don’t forget about the struggles you’ve triumphed over. Take pride in feeling well, but don’t forget what you’ve worked through to get there.

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5 responses to “Forget Me Not

  1. That is all so true. We do forget when we start to feel better of our struggles. Until we have a restless night or feel a little low…then we start to worry that it it happening all over again. Great post, thank you for your honesty – I love reading it as a fellow sufferer.

  2. I figure that a lot of us use optimism to drag ourselves along. So when the shinier moments show up, we tell ourselves things are okay, things are good, ’cause we need it to get by (and so we enjoy them when they do arrive!). And then, of course, the bipolar comes back and suckerpunches us, heh.

  3. Pingback: Certainly Not Forgotten | bi[polar] curious

  4. silvermoon4444

    Going through this so bad right now. Thanks for posting.

  5. I tend not to view things as binary. Up, down, manic, depressive, etc. For me it’s all such a big sine curve with another sine curve and another sine curve that are all not quite lined up. But sometimes everything just happens to hit the sweet spot at the same time and it’s like, damn, this is how most people feel most of the time and it feels like you can build a house on that ground. Then nope, it’s uprooted again and so the pendulum swings. I don’t think everybody experiences this disorder in the same way but it does trick all of us…it tricks us into forgetting the past because that’s a much more attractive option.

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