Daily Archives: September 24, 2012

The Full-Time Time Warp

I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to reply to any of your comments lately, but I have been reading them.

There was a recent study that seemed to confirm that people with depression experience time more slowly than those that are healthy (of course, I can’t find the link now but when I do I will add it), which is something I have experienced myself.

Right now, however, I am in a different sort of time warp where things are generally happening much too quickly. This has happened to be before when working a full time job, and the feeling of being flung forward through time has a lot to do with the intense anxiety and stress I’ve been feeling.

The overwhelming notion that there simply isn’t enough time sends me into something of a panic, and though I initially accused myself of just overreacting to not being home as much, dedicating 60 hours per week to work has meant, very literally, that there hasn’t been enough time to get the things done that I need to.

The feeling of being bogged down by an endless list of tasks is somewhat unbearable, not to mention overwhelming, but when I think of being overwhelmed my mind immediately returns to depression. Feeling overwhelmed has been a pretty solid first sign, or at least a pretty significant indicator that my next move will be one of panic.

As I’ve been thinking about all this, I thought back to the notion of time moving more slowly while depressed. Could time moving more quickly be tied to that depression too, or is there something of bipolar disorder specifically in this thought?

Regardless, I am finding myself much like a Kurt Vonnegut character, zooming through chunks of time and being held up by others. Perception, I think, is something of a bitch.