Enter – Obamacare

It is everywhere I look right now, Obamacare, and people who are wildly against it thrashing around, tearing the wallpaper off of those digital facebook walls.

As someone who has had a pre-existing condition since before I even knew how insurance worked, someone who has been denied healthcare before, and been yanked around by insurance companies who wont pay for my mental health care I don’t think I can even express how glad I am that something is changing in this country.

Am I certain this is the best route? Honestly I have no idea. I don’t work in politics, and I am not someone who is paid to make attempts at mapping out how the country will react in any given situation so I can’t say what will happen. I don’t claim to know how things will change, but I think that is really the fun of it. We’ll have to wait and see for ourselves.

What I do know is that it has been over a year since I had insurance, and as someone without insurance I have had to avoid treatment at times (for lack of someone who will treat me while uninsured), I have had to limit which medicines and treatment options I can take (without insurance to help pay for those medicines), and I’ve had to go to the emergency room at least once in order to receive immediate care.

And, to be completely frank, I didn’t pay for that emergency room visit… so it is likely there are people out there already paying for my health care.

There is such a weird loop involved for me, because having a mental illness -I have had a lot of trouble working. I could potentially work more if these issues are treated, but my treatment is severely limited without insurance. I could get that insurance, but I would have to work more… and as I said, I would potentially need more treatment to work more.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

To be honest, I have been considering applying for disability, but the idea of having to deal with Medicare has me a little terrified. Insurance is something that has always caused me a lot of stress, and somehow needing help with mental health has been less stressful with no insurance at all than with most of the insurance companies I’ve dealt with in the past requiring me to jump through hoops, fax innumerable pages, and sending me statements with numbers of enormous proportions (nearly giving me a heart attack) on accident.

I think these healthcare changes will help people, but I do think they will sift others (like me) into finally applying for disability. If I have to pay for insurance anyway (with the money I can’t seem to make), it only seems logical to me to move forward in that arena instead of floating around a penniless finagler -especially if I’m going to pay in some aspect either way.

Though, I have gotten pretty good at being that penniless finagler.

Whatever happens, some people will be angry, some people will be happy, and some people will be sad. Others, like me, will probably be all of those, but realize that change is imminent so it is better to adapt than to tear down that digital wallpaper.

8 responses to “Enter – Obamacare

  1. thepillarsofherearth

    The problem that most people who are against it have is that you now must buy a product you don’t want or pay a tax simply to be ALIVE. I’m not saying that some of that changesbarent good and that healthcare reform isn’t necessary, but with the route it has gone: who IS going to pay for it?

  2. I am on disability & it was one of the best things I have done for my illness. I worked professionally for years until I allowed myself to be drained dry & had a MAJOR breakdown. I tried working for years after that, but could not keep a job. I ended up unable to even get a job in fast food.

    While I was in a residential treatment program a psychiatrist suggested I apply for disability. I got lucky & my process was very smooth & straightforward, putting me in the minority, but it will at least get you a steady income & insurance. From there you can get the treatment you need to get on your feet & be able to hopefully hold a steady job once you’re stable. That’s my goal.

    • Sarah @ bi[polar] curious

      Thanks for sharing a little bit of your situation in regard to disability, honestly at this point I don’t really know what I’m holding out for anymore. I guess there are still people in my life that don’t think disability is something I actually need… but I guess as they aren’t the ones making the decision, so that doesn’t matter much.

      Thanks again!

      • thepillarsofherearth

        While I don’t have bipolar in my personal medical history, I know some Marines who have PTSD, and I have my own post combat stresses. I hate when people argue mental illness is not a disability. All I can tell them is that some wounds can’t be seen, they can only be experienced.

  3. Honestly, when this issue first came up, I was keeping close tabs on it. But I can’t seem to stand watching the news anymore. It even got to the point that the Daily Show stressed me out!

    @despitemyself: I have an appointment with SS for disability in a few weeks.

    I also have been confronted with the same conundrum you describe, Sarah–but my days of penniless finagler seem to be at an end. I entered college years ago to get housing; I even used student loans to live in Thailand for a year and to get myself to Ireland. But the stress of “who gets paid next and where is it coming from” got to be too much. This past year I just really started to feel broken more often than not. So, no more holding out. I am swallowing that stigma (HA!) and applying for disability.

    I can only hope it goes smoothly. It is either that or homelessness again (after only three years in this apartment), and I just can’t take that again.

    I wish you luck, Sarah!

    • Sarah @ bi[polar] curious


      Good luck as well, I’ve done homelessness too and it is not nearly as much fun as it sounds (at least, as fun as it sounds while manic!).

  4. Ha ha, yes…I once upon a time thought it might be fun to train hop with a train kid friend of mine while I was manic…luckily I remembered I am horribly clumsy with no sense of balance on good days as the manic cycle faded!

    • Sarah @ bi[polar] curious

      Ohyes. I lived in Colorado with a big chunk of train hoppers for a bit, so that was commonplace. The best counterbalance to any mania I have is my overwhelming anxiety, sometimes they really balance each other out!

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