My days have been inching toward stable. Every day has had less of the mixed yuck (…that’s the proper name for it) in the evening, and yesterday the exhaustion didn’t come on until 7pm. When these mixed episode afternoon days started, it was coming on consistently around 2pm. I dare say hooray!
Face-palm, though, as Corey is making a slightly impromptu journey to L.A. for roughly 10 days to work on a film. Definitely a thumbs up that he gets to do work he loves, slight bummer though for my now-leveling-off mood. You long time readers know that I have a very difficult time when he is out of town, and it is an unfortunate possibility that the mood swing repercussions from this week could last through the month of June.
However, I am slightly optimistic. I already have a lineup of activities for the week that I’ve really been looking forward to, so the mantra for this trip will be:
FrankieSarah says Relax
I am also now in the midst of attempting to acclimate to Lamictal (lamotrigine) again.
Now, most of my bipolar buddies herald Lamictal to be a life-changing drug for many of them, and though everyone is different, both my doctor and I are hoping it might work for me.
Lamictal and I, though, have a rather rough past.
My first experience with it I began with 25mg, the smallest dose available. Within a week I had an allergic reaction. A rash. Not the deadly one, just a regular one. Dagnabit.
After a lot of finaggaling I convinced my doctor to let me try it again, but by starting with a teeny, tiny, 6mg. About the size of a pin head. After a month and a half I worked my way up to that sad 25mg again, but lost access to my doctors due to insurance b.s. It was not effecting my moods, so I opted to drop it since I didn’t have anyone to increase my dosage.
So now I have done it again, and I am at that 25mg. Next week I am going up in dosage (the first time I’ve had more than 25mg) and I am a bit nervous about it. I am really hoping I can spend the next (probably) 6 months moving up to an effective dosage, because I’ve been rather desperate for anything helpful, honestly.
I am sure you could say this is pretty risky since it already gave me a rash once, but -as it went with the lithium, I have to try. If it works, it will be worth the risk, and if it doesn’t I’ll have to rule it out completely.
Buuut I’m kind of running out of drugs to try.
I will opt for moving to more drastic measures if I need to. I was already offered the option of ECT once, and though I’ve heard mixed reviews from people it is something I am keeping on the table. I really just needed to know that stable Sarah would be ok with it before doing it, and depressed Sarah had no way of knowing.
Ok, so just a quick update, but I hope you have the benefit of good weather in your area over the weekend… soak up some vitamin D!