Big changes in energy are hard to ignore, but they are also important not to ignore either.
For me, changes in energy can be the first signal that a swift mood change is imminent… almost like a barometric pressure change before a storm. For the most part, they always seem to come on suddenly.
I’ve often been walking around, minding my own business when it is as if, in a ten second period, all of the energy is drained from my body. Almost like the drowsiness and fatigue associated with eating Thanksgiving dinner, but with no source I can identify. Likewise, I’ve been in situations where I’m sitting or lying down, and felt like someone has injected me with adrenaline. The rush of energy is so overwhelming I can hardly be still.
Falling asleep hasn’t been a problem for me lately because I have been relying on sleep-aids when I absolutely can’t sleep. The only time there is a problem (when it comes to getting enough sleep), is when I wake up feeling entirely refreshed and energetic (there’s that adrenaline injection!) at 2 or 3 in the morning. Sometimes I can lull myself back to sleep after a few hours, but by 3 am I don’t want to take a sleep aid and wind up sleeping the entire day.
It is just about 9 am right now on a Monday morning… but I’ve been up since 1:30 am.
I didn’t mean to, and this hasn’t happened in a long time. I woke up at 1:30 and by the time I realized what was happening and got up because I was fully awake, it was 3. Too late for sleeping pills.
I’m the sort of person who often has trouble getting back to sleep if I am fully awake (making the prospect of taking a nap a nightmare), so if I wake up in the middle of the night and need to use the bathroom, I generally just squint my eyes really hard, fumble around, and try to keep myself from actually waking up before I jump back into bed. I try to convince myself I’m not awake at all, and usually my body seems happy to take the bait.
This isn’t entirely uncommon for me, and I wouldn’t even say that I am excessively energetic today -just wide awake with a normal energy level. What concerns me, though, is that I went to sleep last night at 8 because I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open after a really stressful week. And going from that deep feeling of exhaustion to a feeling of chipper, normal, alertness after 5 hours is a big jump in a very short amount of time for me. If I felt this way after 10 hours, I would think nothing of it, but normally I am a grouch after 5 hours of sleep.
I am not anticipating a big shift, as I mentioned last week I think things are generally moving downward into depression. Did I somehow manage to side-step the depression and fling myself into hypomania instead? Or could this just be a fluke? Perhaps some kind of stalagmite as I make my way deeper into that depression-cave?
The floors are hardly smooth in the ones I visit.