Well, I definitely took things too far the other way.
Normally, when my boyfriend is gone I become a little reclusive, so the last 5 days or so I injected my schedule with all kinds of events and hangouts. The busy-wave crested yesterday, and after I am finished with work today I have nothing planned the next few days.
I am exhausted. I definitely did way too much. I suppose I didn’t initially recognize the hypomania I was in until it dissipated Saturday morning, now I’m left working on damage control. I’m hoping to curb this from becoming depression sometime here right quick.
It’s funny, don’t you think? I know all too well that this happens, and I try my darnedest to keep track of what is happening with my moods to try and curb them. Sometimes, though, I feel like no matter how conscious of things I am, I am still somehow blind to it.
I hate to point a finger, but my suspicion is that it has to do with anxiety. Last year I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (anxiety being something I’ve struggled with for my entire life), and sometimes it seems like anxiety can distract me just enough to take my focus off of what is happening with my moods -especially if my mood feels “good”, like with hypomania. I don’t always recognize hypomania because even though part of me feels great, there is often another part (the anxiety) which doesn’t. It brings the overall feeling back down a couple notches, so I often just think I feel normal.
In general I am doing alright though, and I am grateful for everyone who has contacted me to check on how things are going, so thank you.
So just a quick update, and after work today I plan on being in my pajamas for a good 24 hours to relax. Hopefully I can convince the dog to let me sleep for a good chunk of time (she’s taking Corey’s absence pretty hard), so I can get on with writing some posts for this week that I’m really excited about!