A while back I told my therapist that sometimes really intense ideas will pop into my head that something bad has happened. For example, once I was walking past a dog park and upon seeing the dogs, suddenly I was convinced that my dog (who was at home) had been electrocuted.
Now, I realize that this doesn’t make sense at all. I mean, I’m sure there’s some reason this happens, but jumping to random conclusions that are barely even related doesn’t make sense. Most of the population doesn’t do that.
She asked me why I came to that conclusion, and if it was as if someone had told me. But for me it isn’t that way at all. Nothing whispers to me, “your dog is dead,” the problem I have is that I see it. It’s like a flashback, but it’s fiction. And usually extremely grotesque fiction.
I have always had a very visual brain, I learn visually. I communicate best visually. Maybe it has something to do with discounting the audio portion of my brain when I was young (after OCD problems with that part, it has a tendency to go on like a broken record so like most other annoyances I’ve reached the point where I can ignore it most of the time).
I guess my point is that I’ve been wondering how bipolar disorder effects different brains. Does having a visual brain make it more likely for me to see these images? I think in pictures, so it seems only natural that disturbing thoughts would be images in my brain.
But for people with more audio type brains, do these thoughts come to you in words? Are they usually conversations, or just monologues? And are these thoughts in a specific voice? Your mother, your ex-boyfriend, yourself? If you are bilingual, what language are they in?
I expect there must also be people with a combination of the two.
And does anyone have disturbing imagery with subtitles?
Yeah, sort of a random thought… the brain is just such a bizarre organ.