Inception Conception

We watched Inception again last night and it reminded me of the recurring dream I’ve been having lately.

I am dreaming, and something terrible begins to happen. Maybe someone is attempting to hurt me, maybe someone close to me is in danger, but whatever it is I want to escape and I’m suddenly reminded that I’m in a dream.

So what do you do? I wake up. Unfortunately when I wake up, my body is still asleep. My mind is working just fine, but my body is not responding. I cry through a closed, muffled mouth, but it isn’t enough to wake up my man who is sleeping peacefully next to me.

I know that if I wake him up, he can shake me or something, wake up my body, but as hard as I try nothing seems to work. I find myself reaching with my fingers, digging my fingernails into his arm with no success.

Now that this has happened a few times, I know what’s going on. In this place where I can’t move but my mind is alert, well it’s just another dream. He claims I haven’t scratched him with my nails or anything, and when he wakes me up he says I am clearly still asleep. Crying, but asleep.

Needless to say, it is extremely frustrating, especially since the second portion of the dream feels so real.

I have had extremely vivid dreams my entire life, and I’ve reacted in my sleep to people in extremely negative ways. I’ve screamed at people, said terrible things, thrown things, basically just short of getting up and physically attacking them. Thankfully it has been a long time since any of that has happened (usually it has been when I am extremely anxious or stressed) and it’s been a while since I’ve made calls or texts in my sleep too. I keep my phone in another room while I’m sleeping now so I don’t accidentally reply to people in my sleep as well.

We call this being (the unconscious me) Sleep Sarah. Sleep Sarah is extremely touchy and is a generally rude person, so it’s best if we do what we can to keep from disturbing her. Much like Mal in Inception.

I am also prone, at times, to getting confused as to what has actually happened and what has happened in my dreams. It’s been a while, for that too, with the exception of this current dream.

I’m pretty positive that this current dream is related to my recent emergency room visit, because that is the only time in my life my body was not responding to commands my mind was sending it. Now that I’ve been terrified beyond belief by this, my brain is going to work it into my nightmares. Great!

Really I’ve had stretches of dreams that were much worse, as alarming as these ones are. I guess I’ll just need to brainstorm some kind of idea to counteract this phenomenon.

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2 responses to “Inception Conception

  1. I am very similar in that respect when it comes to sleep. Except, I don’t realize that it’s a dream when I’m in it. I had this horrible dream where I tried to save my sister, but I couldn’t and she died. I woke up because I was actually crying, although it wasn’t loud enough to wake anyone. Tears were streaming down my face. And all I could do was bury my face in the pillow.

    I’m not pleasant when I first wake up. I’m only about half-conscious. I’ve been known to say and do things in my sleep that I didn’t really mean. Now, I don’t go as far as to throw punches, but I’m a very different person when I’m not quite awake. I am irritated about the most ridiculous stuff. I don’t want to talk or hear anyone else talk. I am infuriated when asked to perform a task before I’m fully awake. Even my vision and balance are screwed up. I fall asleep with my contacts in a lot, and I still wake up looking for my glasses. I’m practically blind for the first few minutes I’m awake. Something goes haywire in my brain when I sleep.

    I have vivid dreams too, and most of the time, they aren’t pleasant. Do you keep a dream journal? I don’t keep a written one, because it takes too much time to get my memories onto paper. It’s all type. If not, you should consider it. I do dream interpretation, because dreams are really the mind’s way of working things out in a safe enivornment. Did you ever start learning to do something and are later surprised at how easily you picked it up? Dream researchers have theorized that dreams function as a learning environment.

    In times of great stress, I have horrible nightmares. I had this one the night before last that was like being in a video game. Horrible things happened, but I couldn’t die. I wrote down every last detail. What the room looked like, what I was doing, what the people I’ve never even met looked like. I figured it out. It’s was a subconscious message I was sending myself. I was picking up on things that were going on around me that I wouldn’t consciously notice. And it ended up as symbolism in my dream. There is a dangerous game going on around me. As for the rest of the symbolism, I haven’t worked that out yet.

    Try it. It might ease the nightmares. If not, then at least you might have a better idea about what’s going on in your waking life.

  2. Sleep paralysis is hideous. I posted about it recently, actually. Funnily enough it’s not directly linked to mental illness (for once!) although I firmly maintain that the two are not a pleasant combination…

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