Daily Archives: December 6, 2011

Inception Conception

We watched Inception again last night and it reminded me of the recurring dream I’ve been having lately.

I am dreaming, and something terrible begins to happen. Maybe someone is attempting to hurt me, maybe someone close to me is in danger, but whatever it is I want to escape and I’m suddenly reminded that I’m in a dream.

So what do you do? I wake up. Unfortunately when I wake up, my body is still asleep. My mind is working just fine, but my body is not responding. I cry through a closed, muffled mouth, but it isn’t enough to wake up my man who is sleeping peacefully next to me.

I know that if I wake him up, he can shake me or something, wake up my body, but as hard as I try nothing seems to work. I find myself reaching with my fingers, digging my fingernails into his arm with no success.

Now that this has happened a few times, I know what’s going on. In this place where I can’t move but my mind is alert, well it’s just another dream. He claims I haven’t scratched him with my nails or anything, and when he wakes me up he says I am clearly still asleep. Crying, but asleep.

Needless to say, it is extremely frustrating, especially since the second portion of the dream feels so real.

I have had extremely vivid dreams my entire life, and I’ve reacted in my sleep to people in extremely negative ways. I’ve screamed at people, said terrible things, thrown things, basically just short of getting up and physically attacking them. Thankfully it has been a long time since any of that has happened (usually it has been when I am extremely anxious or stressed) and it’s been a while since I’ve made calls or texts in my sleep too. I keep my phone in another room while I’m sleeping now so I don’t accidentally reply to people in my sleep as well.

We call this being (the unconscious me) Sleep Sarah. Sleep Sarah is extremely touchy and is a generally rude person, so it’s best if we do what we can to keep from disturbing her. Much like Mal in Inception.

I am also prone, at times, to getting confused as to what has actually happened and what has happened in my dreams. It’s been a while, for that too, with the exception of this current dream.

I’m pretty positive that this current dream is related to my recent emergency room visit, because that is the only time in my life my body was not responding to commands my mind was sending it. Now that I’ve been terrified beyond belief by this, my brain is going to work it into my nightmares. Great!

Really I’ve had stretches of dreams that were much worse, as alarming as these ones are. I guess I’ll just need to brainstorm some kind of idea to counteract this phenomenon.