To be honest, I’m having a difficult time writing today. My thoughts and emotions are swept up in some bad news I received last week, the death of a friend, and I’ve been having a lot of trouble processing anything else.
I wanted to address this very vaguely today to explain how things have been, and since this blog is not a place where I dump out my emotions (but rather talk about them once they’ve been processed a bit) I’ve been trying to hold off on talking about it here until I have something real, heartfelt, and conclusive to say about it.
Needless to say, I’ve been experiencing a mild bout of depression and the window of things I feel comfortable writing about has been closing.
The thing that bothers me most about bipolar disorder (its inconsistency) is often its saving grace in my eyes -I have to take everything a day at a time because I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow. The idea that tomorrow could mean a new flip of the coin is comforting at times, so I’ll leave things at that for today and will give it another whirl tomorrow.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sarah. It’s a fact of life but that doesn’t make it any easier or less painful.
It’s funny that you should mention unpredictability as a frustration and a saving grace. I was thinking about that just yesterday, how when my diagnosis was depression that was pretty easy to accept, but bipolar has been so much harder. And then the first thing that came to mind is that at least with bipolar, I know the bad times aren’t going to last.
Thanks Dee Dee!
hugs!
Thanks Tiffany, and actually this simple comment is the 1000th comment on my blog, so you have given me a double smile there!